


Catabolic Seed

by notwhatyouseeinthemovies



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Borderline Personality Disorder, Confused Emotions, Depression, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, I think not, M/M, Nick has BPD, Slight Suicidal Ideation, Songfic, do they really hate each other?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22432873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwhatyouseeinthemovies/pseuds/notwhatyouseeinthemovies
Summary: It all started with the dishes, spiraling into a meltdown that they really should have seen coming.But oh well, what's a devil to do?
Relationships: Deacon/Nick (What We Do in the Shadows)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Catabolic Seed

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all, as per usual I got emotional and wrote a fanfic cause that's one of my more healthy coping mechanisms. I recently got really obsessed with the song Catabolic Seed by The Scary Jokes after one of my lovely partners showed it to me (thank you my sweet bagel). If you haven't heard it before, give it a listen. It's really spooky but also sweet and relatable. 
> 
> I don't think the song is supposed to be about Borderline Personality Disorder but the song reminded me a lot of the emotional swings I go through as someone with the disorder (and of course I have to relate everything back to BPD or DID with me :P). So I put this fandom together with this song and this is what I came up with, hope you like it.
> 
> PS: I'm not saying that this is what BPD looks like for everyone, or even what BPD looks like as a whole (cause it is so much more than just what i've written here). This is just a lot of what my mind goes through when I'm having a breakdown which means I usually go from loving people to hating them, as well as loving myself to thinking I'm absolute garbage.

It all started with the dishes. Viago finally moved the little cardboard chore wheel around from where it had been sitting for five years straight. Vladislav did the vaccuming, Deacon was supposed to do the dishes and Viago did the dusting and general trash cleanup. Shifting the circle over created a new set of chores for each of the flat-mates, however, now Nick’s name had been added to the list. It resided in a space just under a blacked-out bubble of permanent marker where Petyr’s name had once been. It felt a little disheartening to see his name blacked out from the wheel and other official documents around the flat, but they knew it had to be done. They couldn’t go on pretending that Petyr was still there, hiding in the basement, waiting for another chicken in a sack to come his way. Sure, he was old and pretty grumpy and never came to flat meetings, but he was one of the greatest vampires that ever lived; if not the greatest.

A flat meeting was what the four vampires (plus one werewolf) were up to when all proverbial hell broke loose. They were sitting at the small breakfast table in the kitchen, staring at the ever-growing pile of dishes that were once Deacon’s responsibility, now Nick’s. The three of them were commenting on his poor housekeeping, lines of dialogue being passed around that sounded familiar to Deacon’s ears, though he did not pay them much mind since they weren’t being directed at him this time.

“So basically, we think you’re not pulling your weight around here Nick.”

Viago said with a nervous, yet pleasant smile. The one he put on when he was afraid that he’d get yelled at.

“You’re totally screwing us over here, and I don’t want to deal with that kind of bullshit right now. I just got out of a relationship with The Beast and I really don’t need the extra stress.”

Vladislav sunk back into his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, opting for the more direct approach when talking about flat-mate responsibilities.

“Really? Again? Isn’t this the third time this year you’ve broken up with her?”

Viago questioned, suddenly getting an inquisitive look on his face, completely distracted from the conversation at hand.

“Yes, yes, anyway…what we’re all trying to say is, pull your shit together Nick.”

Vladislav sighed, ignoring Viago completely.

“Yeah, really. It’s not that hard to do Nick. Just put the dishes in the water and add some soap. Easy, no?”

Deacon sprawled out across his chair, one of his legs resting on the arm, having his own arm rest atop that leg.

“Hey, since when do you get to judge anyone for this kind of shit? I heard that this was your job before that and you had left the sink like that for five years straight!”

Nick huffed, leaning backwards in his chair, hearing the old wood creek against his new leather jacket. He didn’t buy it, mind you. The guy he drained last night just happened to have good fashion sense.

“Yeah, well, I’ve learned a thing or two since then and started actually doing shit around the house thank you very much.”

“Well…you’ve been doing the general trash collecting well Deacon; however, the dusting could use a little work. The entire basement was covered in the stuff.”

Viago had that smile on again, the nervous lilt evident in his voice.

“I don’t like to go in the basement…besides, nobody’s using it right now.”

Deacon responded instantly, quickly tacking on that last bit, hoping nobody will read into his unplanned response.

“Why? Cause Petyr died down there? Come on man, get over it. Sure, it sucked and all but the basement needs cleaning and you can’t just pretend that the room doesn’t exist so you don’t have to think about some dead guy all the time.”

“HEY! You shut your mouth! He was not just some guy. He was one of us, one of our flat-mates, our friends, your fucking master-vampire! Show some respect for the dead!”

“I am showing respect! I’m not the one fucking dancing around his death pretending it didn’t happen. I know I was his familiar, and I’m respecting that by still thinking about him and his life even though he’s gone. You’re the one who’s never shown any respect for the dead.”

With that, Nick stormed off and down the hall into the living room where he began blasting the first record that was on hand, adding a few record scratches to the beginning of it as per usual. Even when he was angry, he was still very much Nick.

“Deacon, what was he talking about…?”

Stu asked wearily, fidgeting with the hem of his new jacket, of which he did buy, as his old one was torn to shreds in the last full moon.

“I’ll take care of it-”

“Are you sure cause I can-”

“No, I’ve got this one”

Deacon said before standing up as well and striding down the hallway towards the loud polka-beat.

“Nick, we need to talk.”

“What the fuck is there to talk about?”

Nick was sitting on a red armchair dotted with thin gold thread, depicting scenes of nature. Birds in the air, flowers on a tree. Intricate patterns of shiny lace, barely visible to the eye from afar, but breathtakingly intricate up close. A deeper red stain covered a large portion of the left arm of the chair from one of Viago’s losing battles to a carotid. He sat on the plush seat with his knees pulled up to his chest, the heels of his sneakers just grazing the top of the cushion. As Nick looked up to the doorframe Deacon could see angry tears dotting Nick’s cheeks, coming down and tracing his heated face in patterns as intricate as the golden thread.

“Y-You shove me down at every chance you get, you always think you’re better than me just cause you’re older and you never look at things from my point of view. And yeah, I know I’m not fucking perfect. I don’t do what I’m told, I’m impulsive, I’m careless. I tell people I’m a vampire just so maybe, on some wild chance, they’ll think I’m actually cool. Cause I sure as fuck don’t feel cool around the people who are supposed to be my fucking friends. So maybe it’s true, I’m a fucking loser. I suck! I take and I take and I never give back and I just keep draining all of you. There’s a reason I was banished and I still tried to fucking weasel my way back into your lives. I’m such a fucking fuck up, I don’t deserve to be here, I don’t deserve friends like you guys or Stu. I don’t deserve eternal life! I never deserved life in the first place! I want to destroy everything that’s mine! Everything that I’ve ever owned or have ever been is fucking worthless. But fuck, I just want something out of this life if I have to live it. I’m not asking for much. I don’t want to be the leader of the pack or whatever Stu’s friends call it. I don’t want to be in charge, I don’t even want to have say in what we do most of the time. I don’t want you to get on your knees and tell me I’m perfect, cause I’m far from it and I don’t want you to be my fucking valentine god damn it, I just want a little bit of sympathy!”

Nick let all of his words go in what seemed like one breath, the tears coming out harder and faster now, pouring down his cheeks like water out of a tap. A tap that should have been running earlier when Nick was set to do the dishes. But right now, Deacon can’t be bothered to be mad about that. It almost seems like yesterday’s news. Before he can let himself have some say in the situation, his long legs are making their way across the room to where Nick sits, leaning down and scooping Nick up into his arms in a tight hug.

He could have said something.

He could have looked Nick in the eyes and told him every little thing he’s done wrong and been sorry for it. Sorry for the times he made fun of Nick’s obsession with twilight, the times he called Nick out for dressing too much like him, the times he voted against his nightclub suggestions just to spite him, the time he should have just been a friend when they thought Stu was dead and let himself be there as a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t need to do all that though, the simple touch was enough to make Nick wrap his arms back around Deacon and cry into his shoulder.

In his awkward stance, half crouching down to meet Nick, Deacon felt his legs begin to cramp up and so he shifted lightly just as Nick seemed to be doing the same and so they ended up knocking their legs together which resulted in Deacon tripping over the rug and falling into Nick’s lap on the rather small armchair.

The two looked at each other after accidentally bumping heads during the fall and started laughing. Something they had done as a group and with others, but never just the two of them alone. The air went from static to bubbling with intensity in seconds as Deacon leaned in, absolutely not of his own accord, and crushed his lips against Nick’s. If he didn’t know any better and believed vampires could hypnotize each other, he would have sworn this was Nicks doing, even if he didn’t believe Nick would want to hypnotize him to do this. But then again, there Nick was, leaning into the kiss and wrapping his arms around Deacon’s neck and pulling him ever closer into the warmth of the stained armchair.

_I don't care if I’m losing myself in the garden of earthly delights._   
_I could drop dead right where I stand, I wouldn't mind._   
_I wouldn’t mind._


End file.
